Promoting Word Study
She didn’t know it but she was acting as her own savior, her own God. She was trying to do the right thing but she refused to study her bible. She thought that the bits and pieces she manage to hear from preachers and people was enough. She was forging ahead and waiting for God to catch up. That passage was great advice on how to win people over to her cause but without a personal relationship with God she didn’t know to listen for the promptings of the Holy Spirit. He would lead her away from danger and eventually lead her back to God’s Will. She thought her understanding and knowledge was enough. But her understanding was leading her away from God slowly.
She felt ashamed of herself for letting things get this far. She thought God was angry with her. She cried over her loss. She cried because she was loss. She wanted to dig a hole and put herself in it. She betrayed her beliefs of marriage being forever. She failed in her obedience to the passage she held so dear. She had friends, but couldn’t think of anyone to call. It was hard for her to think at all. In solitude and humbleness she fell to her knees. She was sobbing. She didn’t even know what to pray. She cried herself to sleep.
Weeks went by…She took long walks alone. She read books about the bible. She started to search for what went wrong. She was missing something. But what? The organizer came by often. One day he showed up and she said to him, “this is not going to work.” He said, “What do you mean? We have been at this for years.” She couldn’t believe what she just said. It is as if it wasn’t her speaking. She considered what he said and he was right. Somehow they had gotten here together. But what was it that he was so proud of? Her life was in shambles. He never even acknowledge that things had gone from bad to worst since she met him.